November 16th | "Explanation Deflation"

I'd like to think
my voice has some merit
and that when I tilt my head back and laugh,
I'm not always judged for it

But a smarter voice in my head tells me it isn't so
Because that's just the way things go
and I have to constantly remind myself
to breathe and brush and blink.

I'd like to think
my heart will find its way
and that when I try so very hard to explain myself,
they'll understand my delay,

And every little bit of what I used to know comes back
Because that's just what I expect
and I know full well my words mean nothing,
no matter how hard I try
to make them mean
something else.