November 12th.

I laughed, 

expecting my world to grow and expand around me and everything I loved

I grinned

from ear to ear as if nothing was wrong, because at the time everything felt perfect

I stopped

when I returned home that night, my face splotched with makeup and my hair a fluffy mess

I frowned

as I realized what had happened, what I had missed, what dark depressing corners I had avoided for so long

I cried,

feeling the world collapse against me, and I floated half-heartedly back to my bed, where

I stayed

for what seemed to be the longest time.