A Reflection

Today was the last day of my Junior Year of High School (I don't know if that's supposed to be capitalized, but I find it's important enough to be)...

I have friends a year older than me and in the grade below me. I also bear an irrational fear of the future. 
It turned out to be quite an emotional day.

There was joy, there was excitement, there was nostalgia... pain, bliss, awkward rapture, and a certain bittersweet feeling I have trouble putting my finger on. There were also lots of hugs. I hugged my closest friends, I hugged my newest friends. I hugged people I barely talked to all year but felt compelled to embrace all the same. I love hugging.

To be honest, I think my favorite part of the day was towards the end. Because as we got closer and closer to the end of the day, you could feel the excitement, the glee, the perpetual school girl tears and words of goodbye. But it's not "goodbye". It's never "goodbye". It's "see you later", if anything.

See, school is a temporary thing. College is a choice. The big, bad world is out there and yeah, it's scary. Hell, it's downright terrifying sometimes. But it's also full of happy reunions, giddy meet-ups, nights out and days in, adventures and romances. And so much more. (I'm laughing a little right now because I talk about this subject as if I know so much about it. Honestly, I'm just being optimistic. It's what I do.

During the last period of the day, my English teacher said some things I really appreciated. It was somewhere between a pep talk and and a speech... I think I'll call it inspirational encouragement. 

What he told us was that we should definitely do things this summer that cause us to step out of our comfort zones, to do big things even if they don't seem that "big" to other people. He even made a hashtag for this plan. That's what I love about teachers: they're still teenagers deep down, no matter how much they try to convince you otherwise. 

All in all, I think I'm really beginning to feel more comfortable with the way things are headed in my life. I mean, I know that could change in an instant, but at least I've made some progress. (After all, I have begun to maturely think about college without panicking...)

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