Blogtober | Week Two - Just A Feeling

As I get older, I realize more and more that I am a blessed human being with the amazing gift of life, love, happiness and health. And watching myself type that, or even say it out loud, seems trivial or pompous, and I don't want to come off as either. I also don't want to come off as ungrateful. 

That's one of my biggest fears, actually, that I'll ever become ungrateful and take advantage of all these wonderful things in my life. Of course, I doubt I ever will be anything but grateful, and I suppose that's a good thing.

And as I get older, I realize more and more that our world is full of grief and pain and sadness and fear and rage. And I look at it all, with my happy little life in mind, and I think to myself, "why me?" 

To many, life sucks. I think life is amazing. Of course, it has it's ups and downs, as anything does. But I keep the best parts of it close to my heart, and when I analyze (as one can't help but do), it seems I am far more fortunate than many others in this world.

Sometimes, I feel surprised, even rather guilty about my fortune. Like: "what have I done to be so blessed? to be so loved and full of life and health?"

And I begin to wonder if God gives our souls second chances. If anyone ever really does reincarnate in a new form, and lives out their life or lives till they hit something close to perfection.

Obviously, this is just my mind wandering, so I hope it's not too foolish for me to assume that second chances are a part of life. In many parts of life, we are recyclable. In many, we are not.

I think I'm going to spread the happiness and love to others, like butter on fresh bread. Maybe that's my purpose. To spread the joy and positivity around like there's no tomorrow. I do like making people happy, after all.

This is kind of a stream of consciousness writing more than anything, but it's just a feeling I thought I'd share with the internet. (Because let's be honest: what don't I share with the internet nowadays?)


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